May 18 - rough overnight.

Today is already staring off hard. Really hard.

We need extra prayers for this morning and week, and this momma needs some support to make it through the day.

The boys are not doing well right now. Both are still heavily sedated and knocked out, and I can already tell this is going to be one of those long, weird, emotional days in the NICU. Normally I would have one boy to keep distracted and comfortable.

Colton’s blood pressure is now too low. His blood gases are slowly starting to improve, which is good, but now his pH and electrolytes are high. It feels like every time one thing gets a little better, something else pops up.

Declan’s blood pressure is back to being too high again. Everything else is mostly unchanged, but overnight they had to increase the pressure on the oscillator. That most likely means he will not be coming off of it today, which also means he’ll need to stay sedated and paralyzed longer.

I don’t even know what to think anymore. Watching both of them struggle at the same time is overwhelming. The constant ups and downs, alarms, changes, waiting, and unknowns are exhausting mentally and emotionally.

Right now, we just need prayers. So many prayers. Pray for Colton’s body to stabilize. Pray for Declan’s lungs to respond. Pray for wisdom for their doctors and nurses. And please pray for this momma’s heart because today feels incredibly heavy. 🤍

And hopefully grandpa is being released, thankful for family to be taking care of him.