Today was a calmer day for both boys, and we’re so thankful for that. 💙💙 Colton spent the entire day resting and did amazing. One of the sweetest moments was seeing him start music therapy today. It was absolutely beautiful watching him relax and respond to the music. Moments like that bring so much peace into such a hard season. (Shoutout to our nurse Cassidy for getting us on the schedule!!!) Declan decided to keep everyone on their toes this morning and gave his nurses a

Today was a really big day for our family. Colton had his trach surgery today, and thankfully everything went smoothly. He is now recovering and doing well. There is still a long road ahead, but today felt like such a huge step forward for him. One of the most emotional moments of the day was finally seeing his full face for the first time in 4 months. 🩵💙 Something I will never, ever take for granted again. Seeing his little cheeks, his whole face… it honestly felt surre

Tomorrow is a big day for our sweet Colton. At 9:30 AM, he will be getting his trach. A trach, short for tracheostomy, is a small tube placed in the neck that helps support breathing. For Colton, this is the next step in helping him grow stronger and hopefully become more comfortable long term. While hearing that your baby needs a trach is overwhelming, we truly believe this is the right decision for him. Right now, doctors expect Colton will likely have his trach for at leas

This weekend was exactly what we needed. Dad’s birthday weekend was a success. We were able to spend some extra time together Sunday morning before heading back home, and it felt really special to squeeze in those extra moments. The boys also had two additional visitors this weekend and absolutely loved showing off just how stinky and boy-like they are becoming. Declan especially thought he was way too cool for mom while company was around…. he wouldn’t even hold my hand beca

Happy 40th Birthday, Daddy. 💙 The boys wanted so badly to celebrate with you today. They even got all dressed up this morning. Their amazing nurses made sure both boys were already rocking their Cubs gear and ready for game day. Mom had to break the news to them that they still have to wait a few more years before they can come along for birthdays and ballgames like this. To say they were upset would be an understatement. There were definitely some angry tears and some sad t

Overall… a green day. 💚 Not much to say, but somehow also so much to say. Today was filled with laughs, snuggles, kisses, and eye contact. Today felt special. 2 days in a row!!! 2 special nurses made it possible for me to hold Declan today, and I honestly can’t tell you the last time we got him out of bed. It felt so incredibly good. I spent over two hours soaking up the best snuggles I could get. From last Thursday to today, it truly feels like a whole new world. One week a

Today felt different. First and foremost, I don’t want to get too excited and I don’t want to say too much too soon… but today was a “green” day. Probably one of the better days we’ve had in a very, very, very long time. Both boys were wide awake and playful. Both got hours of my attention. And to top it off, Grandpa got to FaceTime with both of them. If you would’ve told me on Friday that this was how today would look, I would’ve told you that you were lying. It feels surrea

First and foremost, both boys are starting to wake up a little. Today was what I like to call a “green” day. There were still some scary moments and a few issues throughout the day, but overall things seemed to even out by tonight and after the week we’ve had, we will absolutely take that. Colton Colton is still receiving high ventilation. His oxygen needs stayed around 40% today, and overall his blood pressure and urine output looked okay after stopping diuretics yesterday

Today is hard. Really hard. I think sometimes people hear “NICU” and automatically think of a nursery with tiny babies learning to grow bigger and stronger. And yes, there are moments of that here. But what people don’t always connect is that the NICU is also an ICU. My boys are not just in a nursery, they are living in intensive care, on life support, every single day. This last week has been very critical. I know I’ve tried to keep updates more generic lately. I’ve tried to

Today is already staring off hard. Really hard. We need extra prayers for this morning and week, and this momma needs some support to make it through the day. The boys are not doing well right now. Both are still heavily sedated and knocked out, and I can already tell this is going to be one of those long, weird, emotional days in the NICU. Normally I would have one boy to keep distracted and comfortable. Colton’s blood pressure is now too low. His blood gases are slowly star

Today was a mixed day for our boys. Colton had a really rough day. The last few days he’s been struggling more with his breathing, but today felt harder. He was taking quick little breaths instead of long deep ones, almost hyperventilating himself by taking three or four tiny breaths in a row. Last night he became more unstable and needed increased ventilator support, higher oxygen, and more sedation medications to help his body rest. He remains on the ventilator with oxygen

Overall, today was a Q day. Thank the Lord. That’s all we asked for. (Quiet) Dad is still recovering at home from this nasty bug, and Grandpa is still recovering in the ICU but doing much better. I had a really good conversation with him today and for the first time in a while, I felt some relief. Colton, was a little fussy today as we continue weaning everything slowly. The team decided we may hold off on bigger changes for now since surgery is likely coming in about 1.5–2 w

Today was another heavy day. If I’m being honest, I don’t even understand 90% of what they’re saying about Declan right now. My head is spinning in so many directions. There are so many medical terms, so many conversations happening, so many decisions changing by the hour. But what I did understand is; yesterday…Declan was in lung failure. That’s why he is back on the oscillator. But this boy is fighting strong. Right now the goal is simply to stabilize him. We are trying to

The last two days will forever change my life. If you haven’t read the last two blogs about my dad; their grandpa… please do. I don’t even know how to fully put these last couple of days into words. With everything going on with my dad, I was faced with one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make: do I go home to be with him, or do I stay here with the boys? I chose to stay with the boys, just in case something happened. And in my wildest nightmare… something did. It h

Another Grandpa update…. Earlier Wednesday evening, Grandpa was discharged from the hospital and was doing well. Later in the night, he had some bleeding from his surgery site, and thankfully they decided to go to the ER just to be safe. Shortly after arriving, there was additional swelling, and the doctors made the decision to bring him back into the OR to drain a hematoma. Right now, everything is looking good. The doctor is feeling very positive, but they are going to keep

Update: 5/12 Grandpa is doing well and in recovery. Hopefully with a full night of rest he will be released tomorrow afternoon and in bed at home. Thanks for all the prayers! 5/11 Tonight, I’m away from the boys so I can be with my first love… my dad, as he prepares for surgery tomorrow. It’s hard being pulled between the people I love most in this world, but family needs each other in moments like these. I’m asking for extra prayers tomorrow (Tuesday) morning. Prayers for st

Mother’s Day and my birthday both came and went inside hospital walls this year. Two days that are usually filled with family, celebration, traditions, and love looked completely different than we ever imagined. We knew this NICU journey would be hard, but some milestones hit differently when you’re living them beside monitors, ventilators, alarms, and medical rounds instead of at home. It was harder than we expected. There’s something emotionally exhausting about celebrating

Mother’s Day has always carried a heaviness for me. And waking up today, is nothing different. For a long time, this day represented grief before it ever represented motherhood. I watched my mom battle ALS, a disease that slowly takes pieces of someone away while you stand there helplessly loving them through it. Watching someone you love disappear in front of you is something that changes your soul forever. There’s no way to truly explain the heartbreak of grieving someone

Sorry for the delay in an update. The last few days have been what I like to call “green days”, no major setbacks, no major victories, just steady days in the middle. Honestly, we’ll take that. Both boys have been a little extra crabby lately, but we continue to move forward one day at a time. They are getting older and more aware of their surroundings. Declan has had a tougher stretch this week. Because of everything his body went through last week, the team is running cult

The boys had a FANTASTIC night and we really needed that. Declan Declan lost more weight, which is a great step forward, and he’s now easily opening his eyes. His nurses spent a lot of time with him and said he just stared at them for most of the day & night, taking everything in. He’s also starting to grab at things, he loves hand holding. He is up a bit on his oxygen, but that’s not a bad thing, it just means he’s more awake and active. Big milestone today: Declan is coming